A Piece of My Mind


Don't worry. I'm not going to rant about the things that upset me. MOST people would assume that reading the title of this post. Perrin, however, has not yet grasped this concept. He takes it literally. Allow me to explain in greater detail.

Abby and Perrin had gotten into a giant bag of Skittles yesterday. Since Perrin was puking, I confiscated the bag and hid it in the couch cushions. This morning, Perrin found it again. I was feeling generous, so I allowed him to have ONE handful to share with Abby. He trots off up the stairs and is back less than a minute later. I know what's coming and so does he. My eyes are begging him not to start this battle, but it's as if he can't go a day without one.

Perrin reaches for the bag and I say, "No. I said ONE".

I take the bag and hide it behind me as he starts to wail. Getting no sympathy from me, he seeks out Abby upstairs. This is what I hear.

Perrin: "Mommy hid the Skittles again!" (Of course he's crying and shouting all this.)

Abby: "Behind the pillow again?"

Perrin: "Uh-huh." *sniffling*

Abby: "Is she sitting in front of the pillow?"

Perrin: "YES!"

Abby: "Oh. *pause* Well go give her a piece of your mind!"

At this, I yell, "Abigael!" and she gets quieter than I thought possible. (They've yet to figure out that my over-hearing every word they say is not a super power.) I hear Perrin stomp down the stairs. He stands in front of me with his lip still sticking out in that oh-so-adorable way and says to me, "I'm gonna give you a piece a my MIND!"

I raise my eyebrows and wait. He then proceeds to make a throwing motion with his right arm in my general direction. I'm guessing it must make perfect sense to a three year-old. It IS kind of a dumb phrase. I'm doing quite well at keeping my cool until he says, "THERE! I gave you a piece a my mind! It's just what you needed!" He ends this display by stomping back upstairs to tell Abby that the deed is done, leaving me alone to giggle helplessly.

I know, I know. I shouldn't let him talk to me that way, but seriously. It was so funny I couldn't bring myself to open my mouth until he left for fear of him being encouraged by my laughter. Besides, for once he was using his words to express anger instead of his hands or feet. That's progress, right?

So, that was my happy thought for the day. Just thought I'd better write it down. You know, for posterity.

New Things


Isn't it strange how little things can change so much? I'm not a poster child for self-esteem, but after getting my hair done today, I feel awesome. I actually feel *gasp* PRETTY. No WAY! Yes, it CAN happen. I don't actually need validation from someone else to get there, either. I'm not model material or anything, but I'll settle for average pretty! I mean, I'm a mom of two and, in spite of all my kids do to age me at an increased rate, I look pretty good. Wow. It's weird having self-esteem! I kind of hope it lasts!

So, I got "new" hair today. Yay for me. Perrin got something new today, as well, it would seem. He was following me around the house talking to "Jason". It took me a few minutes before I really started to listen. I turned around and asked him who "Jason" was and if he was his imaginary friend. He looks up at me, all seriousness, and says, "No. He's not IMAGINARY. He's INVISIBLE."

Well, duh. How could I have made such a ridiculous mistake? I must be out of practice in the un-see-able friend department. To be fair, it HAS been awhile since I've had one. (To those of you who would argue this, I say...Well, I say nothing, but I stick my tongue out at you. ) Why "Jason"? Is there some kid in his Sunday school class named Jason? I mean, I have friends named Jason, but nobody my kids have ever met or heard of. Maybe some character on television? Weird. Abby's "friends" are Larry and his girlfriend Daphne. Between Veggie Tales and Scooby-Doo, those names make sense. But, Jason? I have to admit I expected a touch more creativity from my child. *sigh* Oh, well! I haven't seen ( HAHAHA ) Larry or Daphne for awhile so I doubt Jason will stay for long.

We also have new grass in our backyard! This, my friends, is MONUMENTAL! When we bought the house, there was this giant patch of mulch in the backyard up against the house. I think there was a pool there somewhere at one point. We've hated it. Heath decided to get it taken care of this week. For $300, we had about 600 square feet of sod INSTALLED and the mulch hauled away. YES!!!! I no longer have to wear shoes outside at ALL! Now we just have to keep it watered for a week or so. If it dies, I may set fire to it in a fit of rage. Since it's right next to the house, let's all hope this doesn't happen. I don't think our homeowners' would cover that. In fact, I'm quite certain they frown upon that sort of thing.

It's been a good weekend thus far. Tomorrow night, we're going to go see a friend of mine play guitar downtown. I'm really looking forward to it. The kids are going to spend a couple of nights at my mom's so I may actually get some sleep if I shut the cats out at night. Here's to hoping the rest of the weekend is as good, if not better!

Greetings from Somalia!


(Is Somalia still one of those countries where people are starving?) I write to you tonight from the land of No-food. Actually we HAVE food here, we just taunt you with it then lock it away and laugh while you starve. At least, this is what anyone who talks to my kids would think. To hear them tell it, we NEVER feed them. Never mind the fact that entire bags of grapes have disappeared mysteriously mere hours after being brought home from the store. Or all but one slice of a large pizza. I've never seen two small people eat so much!

I'm not exaggerating when I say I hear "I'm still hungry" at least 347 times a day. Each one of them eats more than I do everyday. How is that possible? I mean, I know they're growing at a faster rate, but really! I'm starting to think they have worms or something. Is it really normal for kids to eat this much?

Naturally, I feed them before I get myself food. However, as any parent knows, the food on YOUR plate (despite being EXACTLY the same as the food on their plates) always tastes better than what you gave THEM. They just KNOW it, and they WANT it. NEED it. This is where I become inconsistent in my parenting. Sometimes, if I'm feeling generous or just too tired to care, I give in and let them have a bite of my food. Other times, I growl at them until they back away. Figuratively speaking, of course. They can sense when I'm weak. They come at me together or, if they're feeling extra clever, one will convince me that they need something in the other room so as to distract me while the one left behind snatches provisions for both of them. They think they're sneaky, but they've yet to figure out that crumbs/smears around the mouth are a dead giveaway.

I've toyed with the idea of putting out a bunch of healthy food someday and just seeing how much they can actually eat before they stop saying "I'm still hungry" like a broken record. You know those professional eaters? Yeah. My kids would put them to shame. I KNOW they didn't get this from me. If they were Hansel and Gretel, the witch would have been eaten along with her house before she had time to realize what was happening.

What worries me is, if they're this bad NOW, how on EARTH am I going to afford to feed them as teenagers?

Still Here...


Wow. Has it really been almost a month since my last post? My how time flies when you're feeling down. Yeah, I'm still kind of stuck in the dark place. It's as if I'd found something I'd been searching for my whole life. I got to enjoying it for a short time and then it was gone. Now that I know what I was missing, I will never be complete without it. And yet, it is out of my reach. It looks like I'm going to have to learn to live without it, at this point. I've been shut out in spite of my fervor. My tears are wasted.

Too deep, isn't it? *sigh*

I wish I had something exciting to write about. I mean, it's not like I'm a boring person or anything. I'm intelligent and I have interesting interests. I'm pretty well-read. I love music. I'm fairly decent at art. I like movies. I play video games. Maybe I shouldn't admit that last one...

What I'm saying is, why can't I do something interesting once in awhile? Not interesting enough to become fodder for the tabloids, but interesting enough to write about. Is it because I don't know how to make it happen? Is it because I live in Iowa? Believe me, I've had my suspicions about this place, but it's grown on me. Yes, there's not that much to do here and the scenery is repetitive, but there are good people here. Besides, I actually love the smell of freshly turned earth and just-baled alfalfa. And the stars you can see from the country are simply breathtaking.

I'm still missing that something, but I'm not giving up. We farm girls tend to have a stubborn streak. I believe that if you keep hope alive that anything is possible, even if it takes longer than you'd like it to. Sometimes, sacrifices must be made. Farm life definitely teaches you that! Life isn't always fair, but you have to put your head down and keep pulling just the same. The best things take time. They don't happen overnight, no matter how much we may want them to. Sometimes, things only come into our lives for a short time. They share their beauty and they disappear all too soon. It's difficult to remain tender-hearted in the face of reality. It makes us vulnerable to being hurt. Even by the ones we love most.

Like I said, I'm not letting go of what I know is out there. Life is trying it's hardest to break me, but I won't give in. No matter what. Some things are worth the effort. You just have to find them.