Wuthering Hyders

Green Eggs and Mom

I suppose this is a bit late in coming, but anyone who knows me knows I'm always late for EVERYTHING. Many of the people closest to me have already devised and implemented a system to get me places on time. They tell me I need to be someplace half an hour or so before I actually have to be there. The only way this works is if they sometimes tell me the actual time rather than "my" time. This way, I never know for sure if they're telling me the truth. It rarely works, but I give them an "A" for effort.

So back to the green eggs bit. Like your average parent, I thought it would be fun to color Easter eggs with my kids. We bought the basic coloring kit, which has only been slightly updated from when I was a child (since when is "denim" a color, anyway?). I chose to use the vinegar method rather than water because it makes the eggs come out brighter (it helps that we always have a gallon of vinegar on hand for those times when the kids get mouthy), but you have to get used to the smell. I actually am surprised at how quickly the kids got into it, considering their dislike of vinegar (Really, they've only ever tasted a drop at a time. It's not like I make them drink it.). Before long, we'd gone through the dozen+ eggs I had hard boiled and the entire place smelled like a jar of pickles. Yes, we ended up with a few green eggs. Although, several of the eggs were an indiscernable color from being over-dipped in different colors. The greenest things, by far, were Perrin's hands. Green from fingertips to elbows. Considering there was only about half a cup of liquid in each glass, that's pretty impressive. The kid is a natural at making messes.

Take the week after Christmas, for example. Heath's parents sent the kids some reindeer shaped suckers. Perrin somehow managed to get it all over his face to the point his right eye was stuck shut. Yes, I took pictures before cleaning him up ( and, believe me, it was REALLY hard to hold the camera steady enough and see through all the tears of laughter to take them ), but I had to have proof.

So, after taking the soggy remains of the sucker away and cleaning him up, I let him go on his merry way. My mistake was that I didn't realize the bag of "puppy chow" was perilously close to the edge of the counter in the kitchen. Now, for those of you who have children, you KNOW they can smell sugar from at least a mile away. I must have missed the sound of him sliding the bag off the counter and taking it up the stairs because the next thing I knew he was coming around the corner covered in a white powdery substance. After my mind flew through all of the possibilities, my eyes closed in denial when I realized what it inevitably was. For a few seconds I kept them closed to avoid having to face what I was certain was going to be a mini disaster area upstairs. Of course, Perrin had that poo-eating grin on his face and he looked ridiculous so I had to laugh. I'm still trying to block out the images of the bed covered in Chex and powdered sugar, though.

A couple of days later he got into the bowl I had mixed chocolate batter in. Again, how could I not take pictures? One of these days they're likely going to have children and they're going to wonder why they make so many messes. I will have evidence. Oh, yes. I will have evidence.