Things I've Learned
You can learn a lot being a parent. I used to think you could learn just as much working full-time in a preschool (haha). I did learn quite a bit there, but I've learned considerably more as a parent. Allow me to share a bit of what I've learned.
The only way to effectively remove Vaseline from hair is by using corn starch. Shampoo just spreads it around.
Stuffed animals quadruple their weight when given a bath.
Apples still smell like apples long after they've become all shriveled and brown hiding in a drawer or under a dresser.
Saying something in a louder voice doesn't always make you heard.
A roll of toilet paper takes up a lot more room once it's been unrolled.
Disposable diapers are not machine washable (but they can hide well in tiny clothes).
Nothing is EVER out of reach.
My children can't hear me when I tell them to pick up their toys, but they can hear a candy wrapper or bag of chips opening through three closed doors and down two flights of stairs.
I've learned more than that (oh, much, MUCH more), but I don't want to scare off anyone who may be considering becoming a parent in the future. Although, most of them probably smirk and think to themselves, "I won't have those problems. I'll be a naturally good parent", as they read this. Well, (now it's my turn to smirk) go right ahead then. Don't let me stop you. I had every intention of being a rubbish parent when I decided to have children. (Hope you got the sarcasm there.)
Becoming a parent has also altered my vocabulary in such a way that I find myself putting words together to form strange phrases that I never would have imagined I would use. Examples are as follows.
"Get that screwdriver out of your mouth!"
"Stop licking the cat!"
"We don't fill our cups from the toilet bowl!"
"Get out of the dishwasher!"
"Your hair is NOT a tissue!"
"Poop is NOT for finger painting! Especially not on the walls!"
Okay. I'm getting flashbacks here and mentioning that last one was probably really bad luck. If only kids could be litter trained like cats. Maybe not exactly like cats (that litter box would be terrifying), but if they could learn that quickly it would be nice. Although, cats like to toss stuff around in there for awhile... Charlie was in the litter box a few days ago and Heath asked me what he was doing. I looked at him with this "are you serious?" look on my face and said, "He's going to the bathroom". He replied with, "Is he building a sandcastle?". Now, THAT would be entertaining! It's been hard enough to convince the kids it's not a sandbox.
So, there are my bits of wisdom gleaned from my four+ years of parenting. Go ahead and laugh. I mean, it's not your life, right? Seriously. Today has been a good day and I CAN laugh at myself. Although, it's usually more fun to laugh at someone else...
You can learn a lot being a parent. I used to think you could learn just as much working full-time in a preschool (haha). I did learn quite a bit there, but I've learned considerably more as a parent. Allow me to share a bit of what I've learned.
The only way to effectively remove Vaseline from hair is by using corn starch. Shampoo just spreads it around.
Stuffed animals quadruple their weight when given a bath.
Apples still smell like apples long after they've become all shriveled and brown hiding in a drawer or under a dresser.
Saying something in a louder voice doesn't always make you heard.
A roll of toilet paper takes up a lot more room once it's been unrolled.
Disposable diapers are not machine washable (but they can hide well in tiny clothes).
Nothing is EVER out of reach.
My children can't hear me when I tell them to pick up their toys, but they can hear a candy wrapper or bag of chips opening through three closed doors and down two flights of stairs.
I've learned more than that (oh, much, MUCH more), but I don't want to scare off anyone who may be considering becoming a parent in the future. Although, most of them probably smirk and think to themselves, "I won't have those problems. I'll be a naturally good parent", as they read this. Well, (now it's my turn to smirk) go right ahead then. Don't let me stop you. I had every intention of being a rubbish parent when I decided to have children. (Hope you got the sarcasm there.)
Becoming a parent has also altered my vocabulary in such a way that I find myself putting words together to form strange phrases that I never would have imagined I would use. Examples are as follows.
"Get that screwdriver out of your mouth!"
"Stop licking the cat!"
"We don't fill our cups from the toilet bowl!"
"Get out of the dishwasher!"
"Your hair is NOT a tissue!"
"Poop is NOT for finger painting! Especially not on the walls!"
Okay. I'm getting flashbacks here and mentioning that last one was probably really bad luck. If only kids could be litter trained like cats. Maybe not exactly like cats (that litter box would be terrifying), but if they could learn that quickly it would be nice. Although, cats like to toss stuff around in there for awhile... Charlie was in the litter box a few days ago and Heath asked me what he was doing. I looked at him with this "are you serious?" look on my face and said, "He's going to the bathroom". He replied with, "Is he building a sandcastle?". Now, THAT would be entertaining! It's been hard enough to convince the kids it's not a sandbox.
So, there are my bits of wisdom gleaned from my four+ years of parenting. Go ahead and laugh. I mean, it's not your life, right? Seriously. Today has been a good day and I CAN laugh at myself. Although, it's usually more fun to laugh at someone else...
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