Wuthering Hyders

Lost and Found

Mood swings are a weed's worst enemy. At least in MY yard. I don't know if it's from stress (I really think I over-use that excuse) or from my hormones being all out of whack from switching pills, or something else entirely, but I've been on the moody side lately. Take yesterday evening. I officially met our neighbors to the west and they were really nice. They let the kids play on the playhouse/fort they built under their deck (how cool is that?) and jump on their trampoline. The guy is a district fire chief and knows two of my uncles and his wife works with my step-dad at the hospital. Small world, I know.

I felt pretty good after having some adult conversation even if the kids kicked and screamed all the way back home. Once inside, I put some water on to boil and started to get out the stuff for dinner. Then, I realized something wasn't right. Charlie and Lola weren't sleeping on the couch or the chair in the living room. They're there ninety percent of the time, but occasionally fall asleep somewhere else so I wasn't too worried just yet. I started to look for them and quickly lost my mind. I looked everywhere I could think of, even places they couldn't possibly have gotten into. I finally came to the conclusion (in my drug-necessitating frenzy) that Abby (on one of her many trips into and out of the house) hadn't made sure the door was closed and the kittens had gotten outside. I became this dreadful accusing mommy and told her that if they had gotten out and lost that it was her fault. Heath got up for work and looked a bit before going to work and he couldn't find them either. (He DID offer to call in to work and stay home to look for them.) Once he left, I broke down and cried for I don't know how long, all the while hearing that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me how imbalanced I was behaving. I told the kids to go downstairs because I didn't want to look at them right now. Once I managed to cry out enough emotions to regain some semblance of control, I let them come back up. Then I heard a gentle tinkling of a bell. As I reached the top of the stairs, Charlie came sauntering lazily out of Perrin's room. AAAAAAAAAH! I ripped up the bedclothes for the fourth time and found nothing. That's when I noticed the tiny space between the head of the race car bed and the wall. I pulled the bed away from the wall as fast as I could (which wasn't very fast or impressive considering it's heavy and I'm not very strong) and looked underneath it. Sure enough, there was Lola curled up down at the far end looking annoyed that I'd roused her from her nap.

Needless to say, I had some serious apologizing to do to my daughter. It's amazing how forgiving kids are. It'll be a wonder if they turn out normal with me for a mother with all my issues. These are the times when I wonder if my medication is really doing it's job or if I just need to be in therapy along with it. Most of the time, I'm fine, but once in awhile, there's an episode like this where I feel like I'm not in control and I HATE that. Especially now that I have children. I'd better get myself back under control before we ALL end up in the nut house!

So there's a deeper look at my dark and twisty soul. Thank goodness I'm not like this all the time! The weeds in my yard now fear my shadow when it falls on them. At least the fresh air and "exercise" improved my mood and my yard.