Wuthering Hyders

Later That Night...

A change in music and a change in appearance later, I'm feeling more like myself. Thank you Aerosmith. Thank you Clairol. And thank you Perrin for bringing me the whoopee cushion. I swear, I'm the only person in this house who has any hint of decency when it comes to bodily functions. I must get that from my mom. She has never allowed bodily functions to be seen or heard in her house without showing her major disapproval. (Heath gets some weird kind of joy seeing how many times he can fart in her house when we're over there. It's especially thrilling to him if they're the silent-but-deadly kind and he can sit close to her.) She's even been quoted as saying "Women don't fart". Umm... Not to make myself seem like less of a lady here, but EVERYONE does it. Some of us just don't feel the need to broadcast it. It makes me wonder how she was married to my dad for as long as she was. He's so open about that kind of thing. One of his favorite tricks is the "pull-my-finger" trick. Gotta love my dad. I love my mom, too, don't get me wrong. I'm just glad I have one parent who's a little more laid back. Maybe even TOO laid back. He and Heath are constantly trying to gross each other out with their "skills". I usually have to air out the house after these battles.

If my mom ever finds out about this blog I'm toast. I try to keep the mention of my extended family to a minimum just in case, but this one could come back to bite me in the you-know-where. It may sound silly to be a grown woman and afraid of my mom, but the woman put the fear of God in me at a young age and made sure I'd NEVER forget it! Thank goodness she did, too, or who knows how I might have turned out. I try to remember this while raising my own children, but I fear I'm not doing a good job. Even my "mean" voice doesn't frighten them anymore. Not that I want them to be afraid of me (back off Social Services). I just want them to treat me like the authority figure I am in this house. At their age, fear and respect kind of go hand-in-hand, don't they? What do I know. I'm just making it up as I go anyway. I won't know how badly I've botched it until it's too late. (Cross my fingers I do all right at this parenting thing.)

Ooo... Led Zeppelin. That's nice, too...

I forgot what I was going to write. Oh, well. I suppose that means I'm done for tonight. Although, two posts in one day is more than enough. I should probably just delete the first one so it doesn't seem like I have a personality disorder. But, hey, this is my space to write whatever I feel like writing. No one makes YOU read it. Yes. I'm feeling much more like me again...