Wuthering Hyders

Learning to Breathe


I know my last few posts have been a bit on the dramatic side. To be honest, it was my intention to delete them, but having thought about it for awhile, I've changed my mind. It's not pretty, but it part of who I am. As alone as I feel during those times, I KNOW that there are other people out there who struggle with the same thing. Other moms, even. If my baring my dark and twisty side to the world makes even ONE other person feel better or realize they're not actually as alone as they feel, then it's worth it. At least to me. We have to keep fighting our way back. Even without family or friends, there is a kinship among those of us who have been through the darkness without a light. We don't even need to speak. Our scars bear witness to the truth. We ARE family. We are the lost who have found one another when everyone else was afraid to venture in too deeply. We must always remember that we have each other. Even if we have never met.

I've started that climb back to the surface of humanity. My fingers are raw and bleeding from the digging and crawling, but I will not stop. I am not alone. This fire that has begun to kindle in my soul will give me strength. Holding me close and warming me from the inside. Its light will grow until it radiates from my body and I no longer need to fear the darkness. I am learning to breathe again, and breathe deeply. To breathe peace. To breathe love. To breathe light.

I've still got a bit of a climb ahead of me. I may never be what society declares "normal", but that actually appeals to me. Who wants to be "normal" anyway? I'm in a better place and that's a start. Not alone. Bound by scars. Learning to breathe again. Together.