Wuthering Hyders

Bad Dream

I know my last post was less than twenty-four hours ago, but I had the most unsettling dream last night. It was one of those dreams that feels so real you almost think you're awake. I can't recall what was happening in the dream before or what happened after, but this part is very clear to me. It was nighttime wherever I was and I was outside. I heard my cell phone ring and looked down to see my pink Razr (Yes, my "real" cell is a pink Razr) in the palm of my hand. There were other people around me. No faces, but I "knew" my children were there and I had the feeling that Heath was somewhere slightly farther away. I flipped open the phone and said, "Hello?". I then heard a voice reply from the other end which I recognized instantly as I had hoped to never hear it again. Jeff.

***Background info: Jeff was Heath's best friend/roommate when we all lived in Atlanta. I met Heath while I was dating Jeff. Heath was dating someone at the time and he and I had the chance to become really good friends. Long story short: Things ended badly between Jeff and I. I know he had problems, but I was tired of trying (and failing) to help him solve them. I believe I have a decent caring side to me, but I can only be pushed so far.***

So, back to the dream. He asks me how I'm doing and I get the feeling he's depressed and lonely. I rather coldly ask him what he's doing calling me. It's been over between us for a long time. He mumbles something about how wanting to know how I'm doing and I tell him Heath and I got married and have two kids. He seems to be saddened even more by this and the call ends. I don't know if he hung up or if the call was dropped and I consider calling him back to make sure he's alright. In the end, I don't. It's not my responsibility to look after him and I didn't invite him into my current life. Perhaps that's cruel, but there you have it.

Add to that the fact that I woke up near dawn this morning and took some cough medicine on an empty stomach and went back to sleep and I feel really out of sorts today. I feel dizzy and half asleep from the cough medicine so I'm not clear-minded enough to push this unpleasant dream out of my head properly. I've eaten since I woke up for real and it hasn't helped. Heaven help me if I'm like this all day! The kids will destroy the house and the cats will likely drink all of the water out of the fish bowl. I wonder if I could sneak a nap in somewhere. (Oh, my. I actually forgot how to spell "sneak" for a moment there. WAKE UP, BRAIN!) Doubtful. Good thing twelve-hour cough medicine doesn't actually last twelve hours.