I'm Sorry. What?
I need to be better about writing here. I honestly don't know how you people manage to survive without knowing what's going on in Castle Hyder. *rolling eyes* It's always so exciting around here. I mean, the grass just keeps GROWING! Actually, it really does keep growing. It needs to be mowed one more time before winter gets here, but I can already see that it has about as much of a chance to get done as I have of winning the lottery without buying a ticket. Same thing happened last year. I'm starting to think I may need to teach myself how to start the lawnmower. The only one we had growing up was a riding mower. Goodness knows what kind of trouble I'd get into, but at least none of my plants would be massacred.
Anyway. I finally got to experience a visit with a REAL psychiatrist. Not exactly what I expected. He was in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and slip-on sandals. The sandals were promptly kicked off upon entering his office so he could put his feet up on his chair. His office was painted in an ocean theme. I'm guessing to compliment the fifteen foot long fake swordfish mounted on his wall. (Or was it a marlin? Are they the same thing? One more thing to Google, I guess.) Once I got over the lack of shelves full of books, calmly painted walls, slightly dimmed lighting, and a couch to recline on, I rather enjoyed myself. He seemed to enjoy my dry sense of humor, especially when it was aimed at the student leading the interview. Yeah, I know. It seems kind of weird to have someone sit in on your session like that. I mean, you're sharing personal stuff, right? I figure I can give him some interesting stories to share with his psych buddies. Besides, I can't be the weirdest person he's met. Can I?
After the general interviewing was over and we were discussing my symptoms, Dr. B (as I shall henceforth refer to him) asks his student what the diagnosis is. Student Winston (I'm not making that up) couldn't quite decide between bi-polar and ADHD. Dr. B claims I have ADHD.
Huh?
How is it that I've seen SO MANY people in my battle with mental illness and NO ONE has even MENTIONED ADHD? I've probably had it for years. In fact, Dr. B thinks that's probably what caused my depression. That's why it's been so resistant to treatment. The depression is a symptom of the ADHD. Without treating what's causing it, it won't go away. Makes sense. So he put me on speed. Yup. Amphetamines. The one drug I refused to partake of in my "party days" is what may be the cure. Although, this stuff is CLEAN and it's LEGAL. I've been on Adderall for about a week now, but I can't say I really notice a difference. I'm still tired a lot. I still have almost no motivation. He did start me on a lower dose though, so maybe we'll have to fiddle around with it until we figure it out. I just can't believe he said ADHD. I always assumed it was kids who had it. You know, the troubled kids or the not-so-bright ones. Dr. B says that a lot of the people with ADHD are actually incredibly intelligent. My perceptions of it have been significantly altered. I still have a lot to learn about it, but I'm more open-minded about it now.
Other than that, things are pretty much the same around here. Abby irritating Perrin. Perrin irritating Abby. Back and forth. All day long. I'm going to have to try something different because whatever I've been doing isn't really working. Abby, especially, needs to learn some restraint. I actually stayed to watch her at ballet tonight. Oh. My. She could NOT stand still! The other little girls all stood nicely in their rows, but Abby would take off at random times and run across the room or start jumping up and down. I'm glad she's having fun, but I don't want her to be the trouble-maker in the class! I felt like all the other moms were whispering about her to each other. Probably me being paranoid about the herd of soccer moms because I don't fit in, but you never know. They're probably not Stepford wives or anything. I'm just not like them. Plus, they all act like they've known each other for years. I'm the new kid in school. Which is a strange feeling for me since I've never actually been the new kid in school.
I just realized I've got infomercials on TV. I should be in bed. Or, I could stay up and learn how to make millions with internet shortcuts. I could make $7,000 a WEEK! Oh, this guy made over $40,000 in his very first week! Where's my cell phone...
